Officer Donald Haney is Knottwood born and bred. Raised by his maternal grandmother, he very soon graduated at the top of his class from London Police Academy and was awarded a prestigious position in the Bestchester Metropolitan Criminal Investigation Division. However, after six years and several well-deserved promotions, he eagerly gave it all up when a position as village policeman became available in Knottwood. "It's the best village in the Universe," he enthuses. "And a wonderful place in which to bring up Alan, Rose, Teresa - and my wife Cheryl!"

Name: Donald Peter Haney
Job: Police Constable First Class, Knottwood Division
Spouse: Cheryl
Children: Alan, Rose and Teresa
Pets: I have a cat, Jester, and a dog, Topper - but he's not a pet, he's a highly-trained police dog!
Loves: Helping people (especially old people and children); soccer, football, hockey, swimming, fishing, darts, long walks with Topper, Buddy Jim's famous barbecues, crisps and beer
Hates: Mess, chaos, Isobel Hanbro's rap music and really old plum cake kept in tins and brought out once a year (or when policemen rescue and/or find cats, small dogs and false teeth).
Pet Peeves: When I have to arrest my wife Cheryl, which happens about twice a month. Sigh...
Special Interests: Playing on the Bestchester Police Hockey League, playing in darts tournaments at the Magna Carta
Secret Ambition: To read the Sunday paper ONCE from end to end in peace and QUIET, without being hit on the head by flying toys, food, animals or underwear.